A woman that I loved

That women , the woman .
The one that stole my heart ,
The one that hurt it .
Also the one that I love dearly .

I was asked what I have love about her , yet I could not answer .
After all those that happen , I could not even remember what's the reason that I fall for her .
I loved her as she is , her past , present , and future.

I could not be the one that stand beside her , yet I begged like a beggar , hoped that one day her would take me.
Naive though I have and childish action I have displayed to her.

For her happiness and though lies not with me , but another man.
Every thing happen for a reason , what I was told .
Is this a lesson for me ?
To learn the same thing twice , so that the same mistake will not be repeated the third time?
So much have happen , so much have my heart bared , till not a single tear was shear , nor my heart ache any more.
How much how her done to me , and yet I still loved her ?
To even have the though of sacrifice for her , where I valued my own life more than any thing in this world , yet for a woman like her , I would pay any price for her.

They said that the best is yet to come , but what if this is the best ? What if I walk past it and never grasp whole of it?
Then I would live with that choice that I have made .
No need for one to blame any thing or any one , but only one self.

I cannot love her with my way only , that is not the way a relationship should be .
Instead, giving her up , though once pain me dearly , became a price that I was willing to paid .

What would happen to me ? I have no answer for that .
I have always looked for an answer for a question that I dunno , and now I feel that I have part of the answer for that .

May a better me be born after this sleep .
May god grand me another wish ,
another dream where the happiness can be long lasting ,
and not just a instant within the dream ,
and follow by the cruel of reality.

May that wish of mine be fulfil one day.